New invention idea: vibrating tampons
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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