So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
