i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
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