I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
