it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
