Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize