That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
