her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
