Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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