There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize