his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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