Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
