The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
