I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
