Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
