hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
