I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
