sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
