i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
