when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
