Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just had sex on a roof
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
