Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
