At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
