Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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