oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
