A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize