Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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