O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
