I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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