My sheets look like a crime scene.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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