Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
