so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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