that's an acceptable place to lick
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize