So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
