I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
