and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
