Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
