I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
