He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize