Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
