Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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