we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
