If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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