Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
