The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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