I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
