Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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