I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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