I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
