Small penises have feelings too.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
