I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
