He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
