you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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