Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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