just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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