can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize