Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
