I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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