i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize