wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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