Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
