Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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