I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
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My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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