Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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