I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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