two words...techno handjob
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?