**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
