she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
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He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha