Wipe that smile off your face.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway