new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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