My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
