If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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