guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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