before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
