I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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